金正恩的來信

金正恩

當地時間13日，《紐約客》（The New Yorker）刊出了《金正恩的來信》一文，模擬朝鮮領導人金正恩給全世界人民寫信。

平壤-朝鮮人民民主共和國的最高領袖金正恩向全世界發出以下這封信：

親愛的世界人民：

數十年以來，朝鮮都在擁有核武的敵對勢力威脅之下。當我們的安全長期承受被暴力入侵的風險，我們要問：我們怎樣才能保衞自己？我的父親，光輝的金正日，曾説過這樣一句不朽的名言：“唯一可以阻止帶有核武的惡人的就是帶有核武的好人。”

當我知道，一個裝得滿滿的核武發射井距離我就如同我的牀頭燈那樣近時，我方可安眠。現在我明白到，我那天才的父親本能就知曉的事：除非所有國家都有核武，否則世界永無寧日。

也許因為這些武器並非我國國防必需，美國政府，及其在聯合國中的黨羽，陰謀着要把它們奪走。但正如父親過去常説那樣：“當他們來搶我們的核武的時候……”

那就是為什麼今天我要成立核武反擊聯會，以保衞地球上每個國家的主權，將地球吞進恐怖的地獄。如果你在今天加入，我們將免去你的入會費並送給你一張車尾貼：“核武不殺人。人們殺掉那些沒有核武的人。”

再見，

金正恩。

原文：

Dear World People:

For decades, North Korea was threatened by hostile foes with nuclear weapons. With our safety constantly at risk from violent intruders, we asked: How can we possibly defend ourselves? In the immortal words of my dad, the glorious Kim Jong-il:“The only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good guy with a nuke.”

I sleep safely at night knowing that a loaded nuclear silo is as close as the launch button on my nightstand. And now I understand what Dad, in his genius, instinctively knew: that the world will not be truly safe until every nation has nuclear weapons.

Perhaps because these weapons are so necessary to our defense, the U.S. government, with its lapdogs at the United Nations, is plotting to take them away from us. But as Dad used to say,“When they come for our nukes….”

That is why today I am founding the Nuclear Retaliation Association to defend the sovereign right of every nation on the planet to engulf that planet in a hellish inferno. If you join today, we will waive the initiation fee and send you this bumper sticker: “Nuclear weapons don’t kill people. People kill people who don’t have nuclear weapons.”

Peace out,

Kim Jong-un

（本文原載於《紐約客》，原題A Letter from Kim Jong-un。譯言網翻譯，觀察者網校對）