外國人撞上“中國謙虛”：火辣辣的尷尬，至今還記得..._風聞

中華文化博大精深，人與人之間的關係可謂是講究頗多，其中，最引人注目的莫過於“謙遜文化”。

諸如“才疏學淺”、“何德何能”此類的推辭，可謂融入了中國人的骨子裏。

顯然，中國此種與西方歐美社會強調“爭取”的文化傳統是格格不入的，那麼，對於這種中國所特有的文化，西方社會又是如何看待的？

1、Tom McGregor

Yes, the Chinese are humble and it’s not an act. Hence, the biggest culture shock I had when first arriving in Beijing in 2010 was to discover that the Chinese remain determined to appear humble and do not appreciate braggarts.

是的，中國人是謙虛的，而且不是裝出來的。所以2010年我第一到北京時所遇到的最大文化衝擊就是發現中國人依然保持謙虛並且不喜歡吹牛的人。

2、Natasha

I am American, born and raised in Texas, but spent some some time in Washington D.C. as a child while studying at college in New Hampshire. So when talking with my fellow Americans when I lived there, we spent at least 80 percent of our conversations bragging about ourselves or people we knew, while it was commonly understood that our stories might not be so accurate but that’s OK.

我是美國人，在德州出生和長大，但是兒時在華盛頓特區度過了一段時間，在新罕布什爾州讀大學。所以在美國時我和朋友們聊天80%都是在吹噓我們自己或者我們認識的人，而且我們都清楚對方説的事情可能沒有那麼準確，但是這沒關係。

For a long time, I thought the whole world was like us: so fond of highlighting their wealth and relationships, but until last year, the idea changed: I went to Shanghai, China, where the Chinese were very friendly, but an ordinary smiling person might be a billionaire!

很長一段時間，我以為整個世界都像我們一樣：那麼喜歡突出他們的財富和關係，但直到去年，這個想法還是變了：我去了中國上海，那裏的中國人非常友好，但是一個普通的微笑的人可能是億萬富翁！

3、George Kate（回覆Natasha）

To be honest, although your story reflects some facts, it is not absolute. You may be an elderly Chinese. Today’s young Chinese are not much different from us. They are more self-publicity and self-expression. Of course, I can’t guarantee whether they will become the same person as their parents when they are old enough.

老實講，雖然你講的故事反映出了一些事實，但是並不是絕對，你説的或許可能是上了年紀的中國人，如今的中國年輕人和我們已經沒有多少區別了，他們更加的張揚和表現自我，當然，在他們年齡足夠大之後，是否會變成自己父母一樣的人，我不敢保證！

Perhaps, this is the power of culture. The change of a Chinese friend witnessed all this. Once he was just as unrestrained and free as us. But when his father died, he put on his suit and gave up hip-hop. In his silent eyes, I saw only one friend who could not guess，Damn it. Just last week, he praised me！

也許，這就是文化的力量。中國朋友的變化見證了這一切。他曾經和我們一樣無拘無束。但父親去世後，他穿上西裝，放棄了嘻哈。在他沉默的眼神裏，我只看到一個猜不透的朋友，該死的，就在上週他竟然誇讚了我！

4、Miami Hunter（回覆George Kate）

You don’t have to worry about it. Your friends have to make these changes in order to shoulder the burden of family.

你不用擔心（這些變化）。你的朋友必須做出這些改變，以承擔家庭的負擔。

Compared with men in Western society, the responsibilities and obligations of men in Chinese society are extensive and heavy, which makes them have to be more restrained and calm!

與西方社會的男人相比，中國社會男人的責任和義務是廣泛而沉重的，這使得他們不得不更加剋制和冷靜！

Consequently, arrogant people can cause disruptions, since people are expected to fulfill their promises. When a braggart claims he will introduce others to rich and powerful friends for everyone’s benefit, but fails to accomplish that because he was not speaking truth; then he will find himself and shunned by others.

自大的人會帶來破壞，因為人們被期望履行承諾。如果一個人吹牛説將為他人引薦富有而有權的朋友，從而給所有人帶來好處，可最終他沒能實現這個諾言，因為他撒謊了吹牛了；那麼他人就會遠離他。

Humility is effective by sparking action. A braggart lives in his own fantasy world, while lies and false promises don’t matter much to his ego.

謙遜通過行動來證明。而一個吹牛的人生活在自己的幻想世界裏，謊言和虛假的承諾對於他的自我而言是無關緊要的。

Therefore, modesty is a sign of a person’s maturity, and when he embodies in a national culture, it means that the nation’s “collective maturity”, of course, this is in line with the fact that Chinese civilization is the most mature civilization in the world, she has been for thousands of years!

因此，謙虛是一個人成熟的標誌，當他體現在一個民族文化中時，就意味着這個民族的“集體成熟”，當然，這也符合中華文明是世界上最成熟的文明的事實，她已經幾千年了！

5、Nora Chepel

Well stated. Infact, we in the west need to step back and learn from the Chinese, rather than us expecting them the adopt our attitudes. Living in harmony, we all need more of that

説的好。實際上，我們西方人應該停下來向中國人學習，而不是期望他們來學習我們的態度。和諧生活，這是我們所需要的。

6、Corey Tournet

It really depends on the person you are dealing with. I know one factory owner who is very successful and humble, his employees love him for it. Also have some really good friends there who are down to earth. But there are also people who are definitely not humble, who try to impress others with their social status and wealth.

這要看你遇到了什麼人。我認識一個工廠主，他非常成功和謙虛，他的員工都很喜歡他這一點。我也有一些中國好朋友，他們非常務實。但是也有不謙虛的人，炫耀自己的社會地位和財富。

If you don’t know the language or culture, you might at first falsely assume it’s a much more humble culture…because it’s a high context culture where a lot of things aren’t said but everyone knows the meaning.

如果你不瞭解中國的語言和文化，你可能會錯誤的以為中國文化更加謙虛，因為中國文化是一種高語境的文化，很多事情沒有明説，但是大家心知肚明。

One piece of advice I’d give to foreigners in China, keep your eyes open and take time to learn the culture at a much deeper level before making these kinds of assumptions. There are a lot of people who go there for a 2 week vacation and come back with strong opinions thinking they know how things work there.

我要給在中國的外國人一個建議，那就是在作出這類的假設之前，先打開你的眼界，花時間深入學習一下中國文化。很多人去中國玩個兩週，回來後就強烈的認為自己很瞭解中國了。

7、Trisomy

Yes, I strongly agree with you. I have lived in China for eight years, which has taught me many ways of expression and thinking with Chinese characteristics. Generally speaking, the “Eastern Implicit Beauty” embodied in the Chinese people lies in a conventional understanding.

是的，我非常同意你的看法。我在中國生活了八年，這教會了我許多有中國特色的表達和思考方式。總的來説，中國人所體現的“東方含蓄美”在於一種傳統的理解。

For example, when I was working on my first day, my colleague politely asked me how to fix dinner. I honestly answered no, and then he invited me to his house for dinner, and then I really went

例如，當我第一天工作時，我的同事禮貌地問我如何安排晚餐。我誠實地回答不，然後他邀請我去他家吃飯，然後我真的去了。

I didn’t feel the slightest discomfort at that time. I just thought it was the warmth and friendship among my colleagues. Until one day I found out that the way my Chinese colleagues greeted each other was “Have you eaten”?

當時我一點也不覺得不舒服。我只是覺得是同事之間的熱情和友誼。直到有一天我發現我的中國同事互相問候的方式是“你吃了嗎”？

8、Luke Miers

I used to be the president of a French University in China. I met some very influential Chinese people. From their behavior, you can’t see that many of them are millionaires. God, they may have more employees than my students, but they are not arrogant about it. They always sit at the table drinking tea, smiling and chatting about each other’s family and life. My Chinese wife explained to me that in traditional Chinese culture, to show others their wealth and rights at will is Foolish

我曾經是中國一所法國大學的校長。我遇到了一些很有影響力的中國人。從他們的行為，你看不出他們中有很多是百萬富翁。天哪，他們的僱員可能比我的學生還多，但他們對此並不傲慢。他們總是坐在桌邊喝茶，微笑着談論彼此的家庭和生活。我的中國妻子向我解釋説，在中國傳統文化中，隨意向別人展示自己的財富和權利是愚蠢的！

9、cultivator

Yes, in retrospect of my boasting when I first came to China, I still feel my face is burning. Chinese people seem to be very good at making people “humble”. When you start boasting, everyone will laugh and ignore you. Until you stop boasting sincerely enough, people will choose to communicate with you again. They seem to be born not to like boasters.

是的，回想我第一次來中國時的自誇，我仍然覺得臉上熱辣辣的。中國人似乎很善於讓人“謙虛”。當你開始自誇的時候，每個人都會笑着不理你。直到你不再吹噓，人們才會選擇再次與你溝通。他們似乎天生不喜歡吹牛。

不可否認，對於外國網友“cultivator”曾經所面臨的文化衝擊，即使只是聽其述説，從字裏行間里老鐵依舊能夠感受到一股濃濃的“尷尬”。

中國有句俗語説得好：

上什麼山，打什麼柴；進什麼廟，念什麼經。

因此，對於那些旅居中國的外國朋友們，老鐵有這樣一個建議：彰顯個性固然可貴，可是你所站立的地方叫做中國，該收斂的要收斂，該注意的需注意….

否則，最後尷尬的不止是自己，還有周邊的中國人！