無內鬼，來點西方黑色笑話_風聞

原文地址：https://user.guancha.cn/main/content?id=267625

有人在評論區提出翻譯成英文發到外網。（我沒這個能力，梯子過期了）

我選了一部分容易理解的段子進行了翻譯，才疏學淺，如果有大佬可以翻譯剩下的，當感激不盡

序號為原文段子序號。如有翻譯錯誤，敬請指正。

6.

At the meeting, Mr. Trump asked delegates, " We won’t be able to supply respirators in a month. Gentlemen, what can we do?"

The whole scene was silent. Suddenly an worker stood up and said, “We’re going to work ten hours a day, Mr. President!”

Trump asked again, “After two months we can’t even supply protective clothing, what can we do?”

It was the whole silence again. After a while the worker replied, “We’ll work twelve hours a day, Mr. President!”

Trump asked again, “After three months our hospitals are all broken down, what can we do?”

Or the same worker answered loudly: “With a day and night work twenty-four hours to solve, Dear Mr. President!” "

After listening to the worker’s words, Mr. Trump broke down in tears, thinking and saying, “Sir, thank you for your support to the United States, the U.S. government has found a solution to the difficulties. But who are you? "

“I work for the crematorium.”

8.

The aunt at a London kindergarten told the children: “The new crown pneumonia in the UK has under control, the number of outbreaks in the UK is very transparent, and people who have a new crown in the UK can recover at home. "

The children cried and rushed to aunt: “I want to go to England! "

9.

An American man who in a public toilet complains“No alcohol, no gloves, no respirators…”

The person next to him was annoyed, “I will let you kiss my ass ! "

“Well, there’s even no paper…”

10.

The Czechs found two batches of respirators in an industrial park, one donated by the Chinese government to overseas Chinese and the other exported by Chinese companies. Bohuslav Svoboda excitedly said, “We should put all the respirators down, and then said that Chinese businessmen to raise prices, we legally requisitioned, and finally even compensation is not to give!” "

11.

Next to an officer stopped: “No, no, no, when we put the respirators down, the Germans will take two days to drive the tank into Prague!” Then declared the Czech Republic a protectorate of Germany. So they have the right to requisition Czech respirators, then even our own respirators will not have! "

12.

Macron addressed the French people: “The people of France will not bow to the virus!” "

The Lyons asked the Parisian: “What does he mean by this speech?” "

The Parisian replied, “The last time a president told us that France would not give in to the Nazis, and a few days later he cut the flag and went up and surrendered.” "

The Lyons asked, “So is he going to surrender?” "

The Parisian replied: “No, do you think the virus will accept such a stupid surrender?” He just wants to show that France is being defended. The Lyons then asked, “Who does he want?” A virus? "

The Parisian replied with a smile: “No, it’s the French, he wants the French to know that they’re being defended, about the virus?” Viruses have long known that we are not defensive at all.”

15.

Boris said: “We will be group-immune and protect people whatever the cost maybe!”

Londoners were very excited when they heard it: “Listen, how loyal our Prime Minister is!” "

The Scot said with a sneer: “Don’t get him wrong, we are not people, we are the small cost at all costs.”

19.

Two issues will be examined at the U.S. Senate meeting: buying respirators and controlling the outbreak. With Trump and Pompeo already provoked a war against China, the decision was directly to study the second issue.

21.

The FBI director asked the agent, “Suppose you’re squatting in the square and a stranger is standing next to you and starting to hand out medical respirators, what will you do?” "

“Immediately come forward and stop this anti-American propaganda.”

22.

A San Francisco native asked a New Yorker, “Will the New York Times report after the outbreak?” "

“Of course not. After that, people who believe the New York Times got schizophrenia and went to a mental hospital, and who would see it? "

23.

“What will the outcome of the next election be?” "

“No one knows. Someone stole the exact results of the next election from the Jewish club on Wall Street.”

27.

Q: What government is the richest?

A: The U.S. government. It has been stolen by Wall Street for more than a hundred years, but it hasn’t been stolen all.”

29.

An American cargo ship was hijacked by cannibal pirates, who were ready to eat all the sailors.

The captain asked,

“Dear Mr. Sir, do you have the FBI?” "

“No! "

“Do you have the FSR? "

“No! "

“Have you ever had the CNN?” "

“No! "

“Well, I’m curious how you learned to eat people. "

34.

At a rally in the United States, the host suddenly said, “Who thinks that we need to wear respirators, please sit on the left.For those who think that the virus does not threaten people’s freedom, please sit on the right. “Most people sit on the left, a few sit on the right, and only one person is still sitting in the middle. Moderator asked“Sir, do you think we should wear a respirator?” He replied,“I think the outbreak is very serious need to wear a respirator, but the freedom of the virus who will guarantee?” The host hurriedly said, “Please sit down on the podium！”

36

At the White House, Trump picked up the call to the Chinese Foreign Ministry: “I’m Trump, and I’m officially announcing a 100% tariff on all your goods.”

“What? our negotiator signed an agreement to pay for respirators!“There was a sound of surprise at the other end of the phone.

Trump put down his phone and yelled at Pompeo next to him: “Asshole! Why did the original action time be delayed? ''

44.

Mr. Trump was studying how to deny China’s purchases of U.S. Treasury bonds, and the next day he held a news conference at the White House.

“I declare, by order of the President of the United States, that all Chinese assets in the United States will be taken into the United States!” And I’m going to release a racist. "

“Why release a racist?” "

“Look, no one cares about America’s credit, they just care about political correctness. "

45.

The CDC found new corona virus in Trump’s office. “Why don’t you put up a sign that says, ‘Congress’?” he complained to Pompeo. Half of this virus will attack the other half of the virus.”