對説“你不搞笑”最好的回答是什麼？_風聞

【來源龍騰網】

評論原創翻譯：

What is the best reply to ‘You aren’t funny’?

對説“你不搞笑”最好的回答是什麼？

UninterestingBadger 

18 minutes of continous crying is usually my response

我通常是連續哭18分鐘

SheWhoSpawnedOP 

And intense, unrelenting eye-contact

氣氛緊張，然後再加毫無感情的眼神交流

Drucifer676

A loud, particularly foul smelling fart works better.

放一個大聲的，特別難聞的屁效果更好。

Zjoee

I always try to make myself laugh, anyone else is just a bonus.

我總是努力讓自己開懷大笑，其他人笑不笑無所謂。

MattPick

I genuinely like this.

我真的很喜歡這個。

If I cant make myself laugh first, how will I make others laugh?

如果我不能先讓自己笑，我怎麼能讓別人笑呢？

frostbittenwinds

im not joking. 

我沒開玩笑

i see you fuckers stealing my joke all over. stop it

我發現你們這些混蛋到處學我講的笑話，停止吧

Dymarob 

There was one day when I was in High school, where from time to time I would say something, not intended to be a joke, just like observations and stuff, and this one guy kept going “You’’re not funny.” And I’’d go “I wasn’’t trying to be funny.” Because I genuinely wasn’’t. If I was trying to be funny, I’’d own up to it.

在我上高中的某有一天，我時不時地説了一些話，不是故意開玩笑的，結果有一個人不停地説，“你一點都不好笑。” 我回答説”我不是故意要搞笑的。” 。如果我真的想搞笑的話，我會承認的。

But he kept saying it whenever I said something. After like the fifth time, I genuinely shouted “I’‘M NOT TRYING TO BE FUNNY!!!”

但是每次我説話的時候他總是這麼説。在他説第五次後，我真誠地喊道: “我不是在開玩笑! ! ! ”

I hated that guy.

我討厭那傢伙。

Edit: to everyone replying “you’’re not funny”, you’’re not original. I’’ve seen at least 10 different people making the joke already.

編輯: 每個人都回答“你不搞笑” ，你不是原創的。 我已經看到至少10個不同的人在開這個玩笑了。

thacod 

“Why’d the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom” “Dude that wasn’t funny” “I’m not joking”

“為什麼衞生紙會從山上滾下來? 為了到達山底”“夥計，這一點都不好笑”“我沒開玩笑”

Murderific

“I fucked your mom”

”我上了你媽媽”

“You aren’’t funny”

”你一點都不好笑”

“I’’m not joking”

“我不是在開玩笑”

Axicas242

“You’’re serious, aren’’t you? You’’re telling us you killed those 3 young men on the subway?”

“你是認真的，不是嗎? 你説你在地鐵上殺了那三個年輕人? ”

1BoiledCabbage

“Miss Coco, you’’re taking it personal, I’’m joking!”

“可可小姐，你把這當成私人恩怨了，我開玩笑的! ”

“I’‘M NOT JOKING, BITCH!”

“我不是在開玩笑，婊子! ”

LittleWhiteBoots 

Absolutely. The best comebacks to me are the ones that give off an “I don’t give a shit” vibe.

當然。我覺得最好的反駁就是製造一副“我不在乎”的架勢。

_Trinima_ 

I use this one quite often.

我以前經常這麼做。

Tortuga629

that ones my favorite

這是我最喜歡做的事情

NoodleSaidSo 

This is my response to pretty much everything actually

實際上，這是我對幾乎所有事情的反應

Nick_645 

This might be the highest upvotes time effort ratio of all time.

這可能是有史以來支持率最高的評論。

michael_am 

Gotta do it with a big hint of confusion too

還要帶着一絲困惑

“Ok….?

“好吧… … ？

darybrain 

Then what would you say after that person has left and you thought about it for 30 minutes?

那麼當那個人離開後，你會説什麼，你想了30分鐘？

MarsNirgal 

Jesus Christ.

上帝啊。

Aironpa

I don’’t get this one

我不明白你的意思

Rayei1

This would absolutely not work in real life under any context.

這在現實生活中絕對不會起任何作用。

Rantarian 

We can’’t all get a laugh just by dropping our pants.

我們不能僅僅通過脱掉褲子來使別人大笑。

HuffTehMagikDragoon 

This and your parents one are the best

這個和你的父母的那個回答是最好的答案

TheSecularGlass 

YOU arent funny…

“你一點都不好笑… ..。

…Got’’em

知道了

fizziebutter 

Haha great one

哈哈，太棒了

therealyumyum

No that’s not how it’s suppose to work

不，事情不該是這樣的

napoleonsolo

So anyway, how’s your sex life?

無所謂，那你的性生活怎麼樣？

AuntBettysNutButter

What a story, Mark!

真是個好故事，馬克！

KageG213

Certainly not a shitty joke you’’ll get out of Reddit comments.

能上紅迪網的，肯定不是一個低劣的笑話。

-Manu_ 

You’’re not funny

你一點都不好笑

IXInsaneJamesXI

Ooo I’ll use this one next time

下次我會用這個

FarFun1

Of course I’’m not funny. I’’m Dad

我當然不搞笑，因為我是你爸爸

DarkRoseXoX 

I bloody despise you at the moment, well done dad.

我現在非常鄙視你，幹得好，爸爸。

JonArbuckleiscute 

I feel like this would just create an awkward silence if it was just two people having this conversation

我覺得如果只有兩個人在交談，這麼問會造成一種尷尬的沉默

_for_the_memes 

Now this, this is my fave comment

這是我最喜歡的評論

Milkybootyhole69

Not a good response

這不是一個好的回答

SuperMarioGuy4

r/dadjokes

爸爸的那個笑話

Bigdikmic

If I wanted tips on how to make a joke I’’d ask your parents

如果我想知道如何開玩笑，我會問你的父母的

Bigdikmic

Glad so many people like this it came to me when I was having a fake argument with myself

很高興有這麼多人喜歡我的評論，當我和自己假裝爭吵的時候，我想到了這個答案

73177138585296

This would work if people already thought you were funny. If people think you’’re annoying and unfunny, this will make them think you’’re more annoying and unfunny.

如果人們認為你很有趣的話，這個方法就會奏效。 如果人們認為你很煩人而且不好笑，這會讓他們覺得你更煩人而且更不好笑。

arquemusic 

Holy fuck

我操

TannedCroissant 

“Ughhh…. not funny Dad”

“呃… … 不好笑，爸爸”

food_is_crack 

things like this are why you guys get told you arent funny

這就是為什麼有人説你們不好笑

theginger411 

But then the person could reply back “you’re welcome“

但是那個人可能會回覆“不客氣”

themanyfaceasian

If you’re in public, loudly say, “At least I don’t make out with my sister”

如果你在公共場合，大聲回答説，“至少我沒有和我妹妹親熱”

hopefully77 

This cracked me up. This ones my favorite

你成功把我逗笑了，這是我最喜歡的答案

原創翻譯：龍騰網 http://www.ltaaa.com 翻譯：ycb1990 轉載請註明出處

Autski 

Or, “NO THANK YOU, SIR, I DO NOT CARE TO WATCH ORGY PORNOGRAPHY.”

或者説，“不，謝謝你，先生，我不想看色情片。”

peopleshouldbenicer 

That’’d go down horribly. They’’d look at you weird and then say “good one einstein”

那就太糟糕了，他們會用奇怪的眼光看着你，然後説”好一個愛因斯坦”

812many

“They really are the worst twins ever.”

“他們真是有史以來最糟糕的雙胞胎。”

EhIsForCanehdians

In all seriousness, that’’s not a very good comeback.

嚴肅地説，這不是一個很好的反擊。

Everyone would just think you’’re an awkward person.

每個人都會認為你是個尷尬的人。

skalpelis

At least I don’’t hitch a ride to Bratislava when I want to go to Berlin.

至少我想去柏林的時候不會搭便車去伯拉第斯拉瓦。

agumonkey 

self-five woh yeah

自我擊掌，説“哦耶”

JAMES_ATE_MY_WAFFLES 

“Fuck you.”

“去你媽的。”

HacksawJimDGN 

This is the only one that would actually work in a real conversation.

這是唯一一個在真實對話中起作用的方法。

Beetin 

You want to say “fuck you” without taking the bait though (You aren’’t funny is 99% trying to provoke). Trying to make a “witty” response just lets them double down. You want to be unaffected and also disappointed in them.

你想説“去你媽的”卻不想上他們的當(説你不搞笑，99%都是在挑釁)。試圖做出一個“機智”的回答只會讓他們加倍努力嘲笑你。你希望自己不受影響，同時想表達對他們感到失望。

“Oh, you are one of those people”

“哦，原來你也是那種人”

“Wow, that is some high school / immature shit right there”

”哇，你真是個不成熟的高中生”

If you are an adult, just be the bigger person, and either shrug it off, or at most point out how immature/socially unaware it is to say that to people.

如果你是一個成年人，就做一個大度的人，要麼聳聳肩，要麼最多指出對別人説這些話是多麼不成熟和不尊重。

If you are a teenager, good luck, everyone kind of sucks!

如果你是一個青少年，那麼祝你好運，每個人多少都有點壞！

XaWEh

Or the alternative from a previous AskReddit question :" Bless your heart " or " I hope you have a wonderful day"

或者從之前的 AskReddit 問題中選擇一個: “保佑你”或“我希望你有一個美好的一天”

aforementionedapples 

Then, they come back with “Do it yourself, coward!”

然後，他們反擊説: “你自己動手吧，懦夫! ”

What then?

然後呢？

Jorjie0104

“Your mom”

”你媽媽”

Idliketothinkimsmart 

“Lol ok”

“哈哈，好吧”

legendofzella

Do you actually say “lol” in person?

你真的當面説“ lol”嗎？

TheFischschtick 

“If you can’’t beat em, eat em.” -Jeffrey Dahmer the people nommer

“如果你不能打敗他們，就吃掉他們。”——傑弗裏 · 達默

WankSpanksoff

“And you aren’t tactful”

”你不夠圓滑”

uselessfork19

then why is my life such a fucking joke

為什麼我的生活就是個笑話

AdvocateSaint

I remember taking an exam in an Intro to Italian class

我記得在意大利語入門課上參加了一次考試

In the sentence construction part, we had to write about our classmates.

在句子結構部分，我們要求必須寫我們的同學。

I mistakenly chose to use “scherzo” instead of “divertente,” so instead of saying “Dwight is funny,” I wrote

我錯誤地選擇了“諧謔曲”而不是“ divertente” ，所以我沒有説“ Dwight 很有趣” ，而是寫道

“Dwight is a joke.”

“ Dwight是個笑話。”

My professor’’s big red question marks on that item almost made it worth it

我的教授在那個問題上留下了一個大大的紅色問號，讓這一切都值了

FATFACEFREAK52

I used to say this, but one of my friends always replied with something along the lines of, “it can’’t be because a joke has meaning.” :(

我過去常常這麼説，但是我的一個朋友總是這樣回答我: “這不可能，因為笑話是有意義的。” :(

原創翻譯：龍騰網 http://www.ltaaa.com 翻譯：ycb1990 轉載請註明出處

Dharmsara 

This sounds better in Jim Jeffries’ voice

如果用吉姆 · 傑弗里斯的聲音説這句話，效果會更好

pansexualsquirrl 

Tell me how to be funny then

那麼告訴我怎樣才能變得有趣

MyPpHurts-Help 

So this scientist turns himself into a pickle…

所以這個科學家把自己變成了泡菜。

InItsTeeth

…but I am funny looking

但我長得很滑稽呀

Undecided_User_Name 

That’’s part of my pick up line.

這是我搭訕語的一部分。

“Hey, I’’m both funny and funny looking, so I know I’’ll make you laugh.”

“嘿，我談吐有趣，而且長得也有趣，所以我能讓你開懷大笑。”

OneAttentionPlease 

You are free to leave.

你可以走了。

phasers_to_stun 

Yea I know (then start crying)

是的，我知道(然後開始哭)

Captain_borf

I know. I just don’t care.

我知道，但我不在乎。

Charles520 

This is probably the best response.

這可能是最佳回答。

GIBBEEEHHH 

This… Is actually the best response in here. This opened my eyes a lot. Thanks

這可能是最佳回答，真讓我大開眼界。謝謝

XBxnjxminX

You’’re not funny

你一點都不好笑

totallynot14_ 

this is going to take a really long time to say

這需要很長時間來説明

73177138585296

This is the only good response in this thread

這是這個話題唯一好的回應

imjusthere4thelolz 

I don’t have a good reply to this. If it’s said to me, I just kinda chuckle and say, “yeah.” As in “yeah, you’re right.”

對此我沒有一個很好的回答。如果有人這樣對我説，我只是輕聲笑着説，“是的。” 就像”是的，你説得對”

Uearie 

Same. I say either that or “I know.”

一樣，我要麼像你這麼説，要麼説“我知道”

TheInnsmouthLook 

“You’’re not nice”

”你一點都不友好”

softlumar

I like this. Just guilt out the person

我喜歡這樣，可以讓對方感到內疚

Abramabundiz

If it gets to that point you must have annoyed someone with some annoying ass shit lol

如果對方真的這麼説了，你一定説了一些讓對方惹惱的話

LSDeeznutz419

Well, looks aren’’t everything!

好吧，外表不是一切！

Blarf100

Fair enough.

有道理。

aKnightWh0SaysNi 

“I know, I have so much trouble with humor that I have to ask in forum posts for witty comebacks.”

“我知道，我缺乏幽默感，所以我在論壇帖子中請求提高幽默感的秘訣。”

ruebeus421

In this thread: a lot of unfunny people.

在這個帖子裏很有多不好笑的人。

Cthulhu_Ferrigno 

post that says to yell “at least i don’’t make out with my sister” at about 8000 upvotes. what the fuck.

上面那條”至少我不會和我妹妹親熱”的評論得到8000個贊。搞什麼。

juju005 

Yeah the only good ones i saw were “thanks” and “i already know” like???

是啊，我看到的唯一好的回答就是”謝謝”和”我已經知道了” ，就像..？

SongsNotSung 

“I wasn’’t trying to be.”

“我不是故意的。”

Nufi0us

“yeah well the jerk store called and they’’re running out of you”

”是啊，那個混蛋商店打電話來了，他們快把你賣光了”

Rav4xle

“What’’s the difference? You’’re their all-time best seller!”

“這兩句話有什麼區別? 你是他們賣的最火的商品! ”

official_fox_news 

I was a comedian for a few years. After a show a girl hit me with “You aren’’t funny.”, I hit back with “And you aren’’t pretty - but at least I have the option to talk about the weather.”

我做過幾年喜劇演員。演出結束後，一個女孩對我説: “你一點都不好笑。” 我反擊到“你還不漂亮呢——但至少我可以選擇談論天氣。”

HausOfCheeks 

I see you’re still not funny

我看你還是一點都不好笑

PM_ME_UR_PUPPYDOGS 

Judging by your response, I think I’d probably agree with her. Because that comeback definitely isn’t funny and doesn’t even work properly.

從你的反應來看，我想我可能會同意她的看法。 因為這樣的反擊絕對不好笑，還起不到什麼效果。

Wagnaard 

yes, I am.

是的，我就是不搞笑。

DieDonerbruderschaft 

HELL TO YOU

見鬼去吧

chewymilk02

Man it’s painful to see so many people pretend to be witty. These are bad

看到這麼多人假裝機智真讓人痛苦，這些回答都不好

Phoduck

Well, you just missed a perfect opportunity to stay silent.

你剛剛錯過了一個保持沉默的絕佳機會。

DrivenToDarkness

“Tell me something I don’t already know”

”告訴我一些我不知道的事情”

ReaBubbz

Just start crying and talk about your horrible childhood. They always seem to apologize so it works for me

開始哭泣，然後談論你可怕的童年。他們似乎每次都想要道歉，這對我很有用

原創翻譯：龍騰網 http://www.ltaaa.com 翻譯：ycb1990 轉載請註明出處

typeyhands

Uncontrollable sobbing?

無法控制的哭泣？

910215ismyusername 

I’m sorry. You can spank me now, daddy.

對不起，你可以打我屁股了，爸爸。

coolbutnerdy 

I know. I tried.

我知道，我已經很努力了。

Greenkeeper132

That’’s just sad.

太可悲了。

jh937hfiu3hrhv9 

Cold stare, pregnant pause, change subject.

冷漠的凝視，停頓，最後轉移話題。

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