你見過的最有妄想症的人是誰？_風聞

【來源龍騰網】

評論原創翻譯：

Who is the most delusional person you have met?

你見過的最有妄想症的人是誰？

ImCaffeinated_Chris

A REALLY rich woman who never worked a day in her life. Married for $$. This was said by her not jokingly. She never joked. As we are driving thru the city…

一個非常富有的女人，從未工作過一天。她親口説結婚只是為了錢，不是開玩笑。她從不開玩笑，當我們開車穿過城市時..她説。

“The problem with the homeless is they just don’’t know how to budget.”

“無家可歸者的問題在於，他們不知道如何做預算。”

Her purse was probably worth more money than the homeless see in a year. She was completely disconnected from reality and living in her own little mega rich world.

她的錢包可能比那些無家可歸的人一年掙的錢還要多。她完全脱離了現實，生活在她自己的小鉅富世界裏。

quarantinethoughts

My white friend once said out of nowhere, “Black people have all those problems because they just don’t do anything to help themselves.”

我的白人朋友有一次突然説: “黑人之所以有這些問題，是因為他們沒有任何上進心。”

FrogginBullfish_ 

I once met someone who was convinced that he was a werewolf. I thought he was kidding until he started hardcore trying to get me to agree that he was a werewolf. Years later I ran into him and he was going on about how good weed smells like flowers.

我曾經遇到過一個人，他堅信自己是個狼人。我以為他是在開玩笑，直到他開始硬要我承認他是個狼人。幾年後，我偶然遇到他，他一直在説大麻聞起來像花一樣香。

Edit: That’’s actually tied with someone I met who thought he was “a psychic vampire” who could also control animals to some degree.

編輯: 這實際上與我認識的一個人有關，他認為自己是“通靈的吸血鬼” ，在某種程度上還能控制動物。

Tesla__Coil 

I bet you could have some fun by introducing the vampire and the werewolf to each other.

你可以把聲稱自己是吸血鬼和狼人的兩個人介紹認識一下，肯定會很有趣。

TheFriendlyDrunks 

He turned into a Weedwolf

然後他就變成了一隻野狼

throwawaytrumper

I mean, people do call the buds “flower” sometimes, and I’ve smelled weed that smelled like citrus, or pine, or really skunky. None yet that smell like roses, but I wouldn’t be shocked.

我的意思是，有時候人們確實把花蕾叫做“花朵” ，而且我聞到過雜草的味道，聞起來像柑橘，松樹，或者是臭鼬。沒有一個聞起來像玫瑰，但你能聞出來，我也不會感到震驚。

原創翻譯：龍騰網 http://www.ltaaa.com 翻譯：ycb1990 轉載請註明出處

joan_wilder 

was he a waswolf or a werewolf? big difference.

他到底是狼還是狼人? 兩個差別很大。

slapdashbr 

Years later I ran into him and he was going on about how good weed smells like flowers.

幾年後，我偶然遇到他，他一直在説大麻聞起來像花一樣香。

I mean that seems like a perfectly normal comment

我的意思是，這似乎是一個完全正常的評論

I like the flowery/citrusy smelling weed

我喜歡聞野草的花香

Kloc34

Well it’s because he IS a werewolf ! Damnit why don’t you agree ? Sincerely, a werewolf

那是因為他是個狼人! 該死的，你為什麼就不能同意他就是一個狼人呢?

thisbilIgates

One of my friends had rich parents. She thought everything cost waaay more than it did. She forgot a lunch and so I shared some of mine. She “paid me back” $20 the next day for like a banana and half a sandwich. This happened several times until I just started bringing two lunches. She paid me $30 a meal for months.

我的一個朋友的父母很有錢。她認為每樣東西定價都太低了。有一次她忘了吃午飯，所以我把我的午飯分享了一點給她。第二天，她為了一根香蕉和半個三明治“還了我”20美元。 這種情況發生了好幾次，直到我開始帶兩份午餐，其中一份午餐給她。她連續幾個月每頓飯都付給我30美元。

Then her parents found out. Instead of being upset, they asked me to do the same for her younger brother. I made more money those two years in high-school than I do at my full time job now.

然後她的父母發現了。他們沒有生氣，而是讓我為她的弟弟也帶一份午餐。我在高中那兩年掙的錢比我現在全職工作掙的錢還多。

anonymous6494 

I mean it’’s one banana Michael. What could it cost, $10?

我是説就一根香蕉，邁克爾，能值多少錢，10美元？

Astyyria 

My boyfriend’s parents are fairly well off. They almost exclusively eat take out or fast food. Because of this, my boyfriend always assumed that groceries were super expensive and cost way more than take out. I actually had to make a chart to break down the cost of groceries and have the aid of several friends to convince him that groceries were cheaper. He just couldn’t comprehend that spending $10-$20 per person on one meal was somehow more expensive than a weeks worth of groceries. He eventually got it thankfully.

我男朋友的父母相當富裕。他們幾乎只吃外賣和快餐。正因為如此，我的男朋友總是認為食品雜貨買的東西超級貴，而且比外賣貴得多。最後，我不得不製作一個圖表來分析食品雜貨的成本，並且得到幾個朋友的幫助來説服他食品雜貨更便宜。 他只是不能理解每人平均一頓飯上花費10-20美元竟然比在雜貨店買一個星期的食物還要貴。 謝天謝地，他終於明白了。

yankonapc

That is really bizarre. What did your parents think about you making and bringing 3 lunches to school every day? Presumably you bought your own ingredients, or gave some of your profits to your mum?

這真是太奇怪了。你的父母是怎麼看待你每天要做三頓午餐帶到學校的？你是自己偷偷買了配料，還是把利潤分給了一點給你媽媽？

babautz

Maybe its a language barrier thing, but that wouldnt be what I call delusional. Detached maybe, but when they are rich, $5 or $20 is a completely negible difference to them. And at least they felt the need to pay you back, displaying some amount of decency?

也許這是一種語言障礙，但這不是我所説的妄想症。當他們富有的時候，5美元或者20美元對他們來説沒什麼區別。至少他們覺得有必要回報你，所以表現的體面一些？

Delusional - for me - would be “give us your food, because we are richer and better than you and deserve to be treated as gods.”

對我來説，妄想症就是“把你的食物給我們，因為我們比你更富有，更優秀，值得被當作神來對待。”

joe_thermostat_darcy Joe darcy 

Oh my god thats amazing

哦，我的上帝，太神奇了

onthelevel54e

Yup. Trump gets caught in another lie. FAKE NEWS!

是的，特朗普又被揭穿了一個謊言。假新聞！

Letsnotdocorn101

My brother believes that he should never have a GF because they always get old and only wants to be with teenagers. He is almost 40.

我哥哥認為他不應該有女朋友，因為認為女朋友終歸會變老，他只想和年輕的女人在一起。他現在快40歲了。

CinnamonSugarCream 

That is… unsettling.

這真是… 令人不安。

komnenos 

At least he sounds self aware of his situation. Has he ever had a love life?

至少他聽起來對自己的處境有自知之明。他之前談過戀愛嗎？

原創翻譯：龍騰網 http://www.ltaaa.com 翻譯：ycb1990 轉載請註明出處

[dexed] 

More than 1 child 

不止一個孩子

Littlebitch0029 

Man, I never want a gf because that’’s social interaction and I don’’t support that, but like damn he’’s seriously messed up.

夥計，我從來不想交女朋友，因為需要社會交往，我不支持那樣。但該死的，他的想法真的是一團糟。

DukeMaximum 

Yeah, that’’s something other than delusional. Something worse.

是啊，這可不是妄想，而是更糟的想法。

Wackydetective 

I’’m a receptionist at a community center so I meet a lot of characters. My very first day, I met a lady (trans, this is important.) She zones in on me, she starts telling me that she is the empress of the world. She is worth trillions of dollars. She has 241 children who live in another dimension. 

我是一個社區中心的接待員，所以我能遇到各種各樣的人。第一天，我遇到了一位女士(變性者，這很重要)。她開始告訴我她是世界的女王。她身價數萬億美元，有241個孩子生活在另一個維度。

She is waiting on a male celebrity singer to come and get her. She was once shot in the middle of her eyes in an apparent execution attempt on male singer. I stood there in shock. Over time, I start realizing that she is incredibly well versed in history. 

她正在等一位男明星歌手來接她。她有一次被搶射中了眼睛中間，顯然是那位男歌手想殺死他。我震驚地站在那裏聽她講這些事情。但隨着時間的推移，我開始意識到她對歷史有着難以置信的瞭解。

If life had been kinder, she could have been a history professor. I actually begin to enjoy our conversations. Then she starts calling me on my extension. Tells me to quit my job, work for her. I would stand to make a million dollars a week. Then she says, she is actually my Mother and I am a Princess. 

如果生活更和善一些，她本可以成為一名歷史教授。我開始享受我們之間的談話了。然後她開始打我的注意，勸我辭職為她工作。還説我每週可以賺一百萬美元。然後她説，她實際上是我的母親，我是一個公主。

Then I start realizing she is incredibly homophobic and very racist. As she told me out of nowhere I might add, that I could not date black men. She is escorted out but this does not deter her. Then quarantine came into effect. I am told she shows up and calls looking for me. Convinced I have the rona and she needs to protect me.

然後我開始意識到她非常憎恨同性戀，而且非常種族主義。正如她莫名其妙地告訴我的那樣，我不能和黑人約會。最後她被保安請了出去，但這並沒有阻止她。隨後，各州開始執行隔離措施。有人告訴我她曾打電話找我，説我有新冠病毒，她需要保護我。