衞報：我怎麼樣才能避免自己被傷害過的男人所吸引？_風聞

【來源龍騰網】

正文原創翻譯：

How can I stop being attracted to deeply damaged men?

我怎麼樣才能避免自己被傷害過的男人所吸引？

My father was an abusive alcoholic and everyone I have been involved with in recent years has had addiction issues. How can I escape this negative pattern?

我的父親是一個有虐待傾向的酗酒者，近幾年來和我交往的每個人幾乎都有成癮問題。我怎麼樣才能夠擺脱這種消極的問題呢？

Looking back over the past 10 years, I have noticed that everyone I have been involved with has had problems with addiction and been emotionally unavailable. My father was an alcoholic and, towards the end of his life, a deeply disturbed, psychotic man. I have often wondered why the men I am attracted to mirror the way my dad was towards me. I remember the pain his abusive and neglectful behaviour caused. I want to move away from these negative patterns that I keep repeating in adult life.

回顧過去的10年，我發現和我在一起的每個人都有成癮的問題，而且在情感上都很難相處。我的父親是一個酒鬼，在他生命的最後時刻，他變得精神錯亂，成為了一位心理疾病患者。我常常想，為什麼那些吸引我的男人總是和我父親對我方式那麼的相似。我很難遺忘他的辱罵給我造成的痛苦。我想擺脱這些消極的狀況，這種在我成年之後一直困擾我的狀況。

Now when I feel attracted to someone, I think they must be damaged in some way. How can I navigate the complicated path of finding a wholesome, life-affirming relationship if my internal radar “beeps” for the wrong one every time?

現在，當我被某個人所吸引的時候，我想他們一定在某些方面受到過傷害。如果我內心的雷達每次“嘟嘟”發現地都是一些錯誤的人，那麼我怎麼才能在尋找一段健康、積極人生的關係的複雜道路上順利前行呢?