有哪些東西是你這輩子都在避免的？_風聞

【來源龍騰網】

評論原創翻譯：

CLAPtrapTHEMCHEEKS

Shitting outside. Not much of an accomplishment but during my employment for the US forest service I came upon the realization that I’ve never shit in the woods and I’d like to keep that streak going

在户外拉屎。雖然不算是什麼成就，不過在聯邦林業局工作期間，我突然發現我從來沒在樹林里拉過屎。我挺願意把這個記錄保持下去的。

Sparkletail

The best shit I ever had was during a run in the countryside. I hopped over the gate into a field with a load of sheep and the view was beautiful, the day was warm and I just felt like I was going back to nature like my ancestors lol. I wiped down with some dock leaves with light dew which are basically a perfect wet wipe substitute and then there running water to wash my hands. It was like god looked down that day and said here’s the perfect shit for you, you deserve it.

我拉過的最爽的一泡屎就是在鄉下跑步的時候。我跨過柵欄門跑進一片田野，田野上有一羣羊，景色非常美麗。那一天很暖和，我覺得我簡直要像祖先那樣迴歸自然了。我用羊蹄葉擦的屁股，上面還沾着一點露水，是非常完美的開腚紙替代品，那裏還有流水給我洗手。當時感覺簡直像是上帝那天俯身看了我一眼，然後跟我説送你一次完美的拉屎體驗吧，這是你應得的。

cboy6_9

Kidney stones.

腎結石。

I had problems getting on the right medication. Found one 5 years where the biggest side effect is kidney stones. Thank the lord it hasn’t happened…yet

我之前吃錯了藥。五年之後發現那個藥最大的副作用是腎結石。謝天謝地我還沒得過……

AJohnsonOrange

It is fucking HORRIBLE. Not to scare you, but I was in pain for about 3 months. It was insane. It’s literally the most painful thing that’s happened to me. I even had a mother of 2 with cancer say “I don’t envy you, they’re so painful it’s horrible” which made me feel even worse.

太他媽痛苦了。我真的不嚇你，我忍了三個月的劇痛。簡直讓人發瘋。真的是我這輩子經歷過的最痛苦的事。甚至有個得了癌症的兩個孩子的母親，跟我説“我一點都不嫉妒你，太痛苦了太可怕了”，這讓我覺得更糟糕了。

Apparently there’s a high chance that once you have one another will come along fairly quickly due to…y’know…there still being plaque in there and man, I am NOT looking forward to that. The moment I feel it I’m running to the doc and begging them for one of those fancy sound wave pulveriser things.

顯然如果你曾經得過一次腎結石的話，那麼下一塊會很快找上門來，因為……你那裏還留着空斑，天哪我可不盼着這種事情發生。要是我感覺又結了一塊，我會立刻跑到大夫那裏去，讓他們給我弄那個超聲波碎石的玩意兒。

supermarketsushiroll

Same.

俺也一樣。

I had a kidney stone and I asked the nurse in all seriousness if I was going to die. I went from eating lunch to thinking I had to go to the bathroom to saying, “This is it. This is where I die” and profusely sweating so much I was dripping onto the sidewalk and strangers were asking to help me in the span of like 3 minutes. The pain is that bad. Anyone who hasn’t had one: consider yourselves very lucky.

我之前得過一次腎結石，當時我非常嚴肅地問大夫我是不是要死了。我從出門準備吃午飯，變成覺得自己可能得去趟洗手間，又變成自己對自己説“完蛋了，我就要死在這兒了”，出汗出到三分鐘之內汗滴在了人行道上，陌生人過來問我需不需要幫助。痛苦就有這麼嚴重。沒得過腎結石的兄弟們：你們應該認為自己非常幸運。

HeyJenItsBrett

I’m 38 - I’ve never been stung by a bee or a wasp. They seem to be naturally repelled from my skin.

我今年38歲——我這輩子從沒被蜜蜂或黃蜂咬過。我的皮膚好像對他們有種自然的驅散作用。

Mosquitoes on the other hand…

但蚊子呢，就……

ckelly702

Cancer

癌症

Weak_Carpenter_7060

It comes when you least expect it

它會在你覺得最不可能的時候找上你。

UlrichZauber

So if I just expect it slightly more each day, I’m safe?

所以只要我每天都比前一天都覺得更有可能得癌症，我就安全了？

OpenNooby

no, that would mean you would get it right now

不，那你會立刻得上。

Hojbjerg1882

Quite a few of my professors (biotech degree) worked in cancer research. They’ve all said that basically if you live a long enough, healthy enough life, cancer will get you in the end. The only way you don’t get cancer is if something else gets you first. They also all agreed the only two things you should really, really concern yourself about in regards to avoiding cancer are - don’t smoke/chew/use tobacco and don’t tan. Everything else is negligible, so don’t sweat all those sensational news stories about studies that say hot beverages cause throat cancer or using dryer sheets causes cancer. As one of them liked to say, “Life causes cancer.”

我有不少教授（生物科技領域）都在做癌症方面的研究。他們都説總地來説只要你活得足夠長，足夠健康，那麼癌症早晚會找上你的。你唯一不得癌症的方法就是先得個別的大病。他們還認為假如你真的，真的不想得癌症的話，那麼只有兩件事是你一定要避免的：別吸煙/嚼煙葉/使用煙草製品，以及別曬日光浴。其他所有的因素都可以忽視，所以別被新聞裏説的那些熱飲導致喉癌啊或者用烘乾紙致癌啊之類的研究嚇到。我有個教授很喜歡説，“生命本身就致癌。”

Edit: of course, this is not to say that if you are healthy and avoid those two things, you will NOT get cancer, just that those are the two things that almost definitely WILL get you cancer. As well all know, sometimes cancer gets you anyway.

編輯：當然，我的意思不是假如你足夠健康並避免這兩件事，你就不會患上癌症。我的意思是這兩件事是一定會讓你患上癌症的。正如我們都知道的，有時候不管怎麼樣你都會得癌症。

MakinItUp1SecAtATime

Incarceration

入獄

DevilRenegade

This. I got arrested and locked in a police cell overnight for a bogus drink driving charge and it’s pretty terrifying.

沒錯。我有一次因為酒駕被逮捕了，並且在看守所被關了一晚，很嚇人。

I was only in the cell for about 8 hours but it felt like a lifetime. I couldn’t imagine a long prison sentence.

我只在牢房裏呆了八個小時，但感覺像是過了一輩子。我根本想象不了服刑很長時間將會是什麼樣的生活。