為什麼亞洲人不對父母説“我愛你”_風聞

【來源龍騰網】

正文原創翻譯：

“I love you, mom, dad.”

“我愛你們，媽媽，爸爸。”

That’s something we hear children and adults alike say to their parents in movies and TV shows. And in everyday life, of course.

這是我們在電影和電視節目中聽到孩子和成人對他們的父母説的話。當然，在日常生活中也是如此。

But funnily enough, be it in reality or the fictional worlds, the phrase of affection “I love you” is rarely uttered by Asians to their parents, whether in English or in their mother tongue.

但有趣的是，無論是現實世界還是虛構世界，亞洲人很少對父母説出“我愛你”這句深情的話，無論是用英語還是母語。

I’m admittedly one of these Asians. Never once have I said “I love you” to the folks face-to-face or even over the phone. To me, it’s a strange thing to do.

誠然，我是這些亞洲人中的一員。我從來沒有當面甚至通過電話對人們説“我愛你”。對我來説，這是一件很奇怪的事情。

Why?

為什麼？

Recently, I chanced upon an interesting article about this phenomenon. It suggests Confucian teachings and Asians who tend to educate their children with negative language (or aren’t good at expressing positive emotion) may be why many Asians hesitate to say these three words to the family.

最近，我偶然看到一篇關於這種現象的有趣文章。 研究表明，儒家教義和亞洲人傾向於用負面語言（或不善於表達積極情緒）來教育孩子，這可能是許多亞洲人不願對家人説這三個字的原因。

This arguably makes sense. A lot of the time, Asian kids grow up on the receiving end of countless dictator-esque verbal instructions. Typical Asian parents are known to constantly chide their offspring for not getting straight A’s in their exams, for not practicing their musical instrument or for playing under the hot sun.

這可以説是有道理的。很多時候，亞洲孩子在接受無數獨裁式的口頭指令的情況下長大。眾所周知，典型的亞洲父母經常責備他們的孩子，因為他們在考試中沒有拿到全A，因為他們不練習樂器，或者在烈日下玩耍。

These scenes are some of the most vivid ones of my childhood and to this day my mum’s nagging still rings in my ears. I never forgot and still remember how unhappy I was on these occasions. Consequently, hostility towards our Asian parents may consciously or unconsciously build up within us when we are naïve kids and stick to our heart as we grow older – affection are hardly allowed to thrive.

這些場景是我童年時期印象最深刻的場景之一，直到今天，媽媽的嘮叨仍在我耳邊迴盪。我從來沒有忘記，也仍然記得我在這些場合是多麼不開心。因此，當我們還是不成熟的孩子的時候，對亞洲父母的敵意可能會有意識或無意識地在我們心中建立起來，隨着年齡的增長，這種敵意會一直存在於我們的心裏——親情很難增長。

Secondly, Asian culture prides achievement and saying “I love you” can make an Asian person look like they’re wavering from reaching their next milestone. Metaphorically, many Asians frequently keep a focused eye on the prize. Just look at the late night overtime work culture in Hong Kong and Singapore. Accordingly, family time is limited and come such occasions, we’re at a loss to vocally express affection to our parents face-to-face – we simply don’t think about doing so in the first place, being so absorbed in chasing chimeras.

其次，亞洲文化以成就為傲，説“我愛你”會讓一個亞洲人看起來對達到下一個成就里程碑猶豫不決。打個比方説，許多亞洲人經常把注意力集中在實現自身價值上。只要看看香港和新加坡的深夜加班文化就知道了。因此，和家人在一起的時間是有限的，遇到這樣的場合，我們不知所措，無法面對面地向父母表達我們的感情——我們根本就沒有想過這樣做，因為我們太專注於追逐目標。

Or perhaps many Asians are just (stereotypically) too shy to “talk back” to their elders at home and tell them that they love them in their face.

又或者，許多亞洲人只是太害羞了(刻板印象)，不敢在家裏跟長輩“頂嘴”，也不敢當面告訴他們自己愛他們。

All this doesn’t mean Asians don’t love their parents. One can say we often express gratitude to our family through unspoken means (this is not to say other races don’t do this. I’m sure they do too). And actions speak louder than words.

但這一切並不意味着亞洲人不愛他們的父母。可以説，我們經常通過心照不宣的方式表達對家人的感激之情(當然這並不是説其他種族不會這樣做。我相信他們也一樣)。行動比語言更響亮。

Many of us (grudgingly) take up music lessons because we realise our parents are lucky enough to give us the opportunity to do so, or at least realise this when we’re older. A lot of us are typical Asian nerds, studying hard and graduating with decent grades to make our nagging parents proud. Symbolic forms of love.

我們中的許多人(不情願地)上音樂課，因為我們意識到我們的父母很幸運地給了我們這樣的機會，或者至少在我們長大後意識到了這一點。我們很多人都是典型的亞洲書呆子，努力學習，以不錯的成績畢業，讓嘮叨的父母感到驕傲。這其實也是愛的表達形式。

Some of us materialistically treat our parents to lavish banquets to express our love. Then there’s not forgetting filial piety, a virtue valued by many Asians.

我們中的一些人為了表達對父母的愛，會用豐盛的宴席款待父母。此外，也別忘了孝順，這是許多亞洲人所推崇的美德。

I remember once as a kid I decided to show my appreciation to my parents. When I was living in Malaysia, nine year old me made a shabby paper bird sculpture to give to dad on his birthday. When I presented it to him, he said with a furrowed face, “What’s this?”, callously flicked it aside and went back to reading the paper. I never saw that sculpture again.

我記得當我還是個孩子的時候，我決定向我的父母表達我的感激之情。在馬來西亞生活的時候，九歲的我做了一個破舊的紙鳥雕塑，在爸爸生日那天送給了他。當我把它拿給他時，他皺着眉頭説:“這是什麼?然後冷酷地把它彈到一邊，繼續看報紙。這之後我再也沒見過那個雕塑。

At the end of the day, as the saying goes, it’s the thought that counts. Sure, many of us Asians might not say “I love you” to our parents, but deep down I bet we do treasure the love our parents have for us. After all, just like any random person next to us, we’re all people with feelings, social creatures of some sort that need to love and be loved in return.

俗話説，在一天結束的時候，思想才是最重要的。當然，我們很多亞洲人可能不會對父母説“我愛你”，但我敢打賭，在內心深處，我們確實珍惜父母對我們的愛。畢竟，就像我們身邊的任何一個人一樣，我們都是有感情的人，都是某種需要愛和被愛的社會生物。

原創翻譯：龍騰網 http://www.ltaaa.cn 轉載請註明出處

Do you say “I love you” to your parents, or do your kids say this to you?

你對你的父母説過“我愛你”，還是你的孩子對你説過“我愛你”嗎?