QA問答：大多數西方父母會在孩子18歲時，就讓孩子搬出去，這是真的嗎？_風聞

【來源龍騰網】

評論原創翻譯：

Corwyn B

This is not generally true in France or the USA.

Of course, I moved out about 3 weeks before my 18th birthday and hardly came back until I was in graduate school, but that was my choice — my 2 elder siblings had left, but there were 5 still at home and I needed a big dose of solitude.

But most kids don’t do that. I managed to support myself through school, but it was hard. It’s nice for many young adults to be able to go back home until they are independent in the world. And most parents permit it.

在法國或美國，通常不是這樣的。

不過，我是在18歲生日的前3周搬了出去的，直到考上研究所才回來的，但這是我個人的選擇——我的兩個哥哥和姐姐也搬走了，但家裏還有5個人，我想要一段獨處時光。

但大多數孩子不會這麼做。我自己想辦法養活自己，完成了我的學業，這很艱難。對於許多年輕人來説，在他們能夠完全獨立之前可以有回家的選擇是件好事。而且大多數父母都允許他們這樣做。

原創翻譯：龍騰網 http://www.ltaaa.cn 轉載請註明出處

Lily Temmer

Everything was cheaper then ( like rent- even adjusted for inflation), so it was possible to live alone.

那時，一切都很便宜（比如房租——就算考慮到通貨膨脹也是便宜的），所以可以獨自生活。

Corwyn B

I had to share apartments with friends for years to make ends meet until I was in graduate school and actually had a (sort of) part time job that paid decent money.

During undergraduate school, it was a challenge. I would do all sorts of jobs to earn sufficient funds to supplement my scholarships. The one that paid the best was working on a loading dock at night. Not recommended, but it worked for me.

多年來，我不得不和朋友合租公寓以維持生計，直到我上研究生院，實際上有了一份（某種）兼職工作，薪水不錯。

在本科期間，這是一個挑戰。我會做各種各樣的工作賺取足夠的資金來補充我的獎學金。報酬最高的是晚上在裝卸碼頭工作。不推薦，但對我很有用。

Erich Walrath

I was.

I was unprepared at the time. But I managed. I had to learn pretty much everything from the fact that I had to pay bills, to learning to drive, to how to hold onto a job on my own.

This was at the tail end of the boomer generation. Thankfully it was in the mid-seventies, I lived near a university, which meant that a huge bulk of the local population was around my age. Finding roommates who were smarter than me was a Godsend.

我就是。

當時我沒有做好準備。但我成功了。我必須學習幾乎所有的東西，我必須支付賬單，必須學習開車，必須學習如何獨自保住工作。

這是嬰兒潮一代的末期。值得慶幸的是，那是在70年代中期，我住在一所大學附近，這意味着當地大部分人都和我差不多大。找到比我聰明的室友真是意外的好運。

I got a lot of help from the local hippies, lived in a series of cooperatives, and, outside of a bed, some clothes, access to a bathroom and a kitchen, and a stereo, didn’t need much. I ultimately put myself through a state university in my mid-late 20’s. That’s also when I bought my first car.

Tossing your kid out at 18 without support is abuse. OTOH, my home situation had become so weird, I would have left on my own. I told my own son that he will always have a home. Unfortunately, that home was in Indiana, and he was determined to make one of his own in San Francisco - which he did at sixteen, (albeit with fairly considerable assistance from me).

我得到了當地嬉皮士的很多幫助，住在一系列合作社裏，除了牀，一些衣服，浴室和廚房，還有立體聲音響，不需要更多了。我最終在20多歲的中後期考上了一所州立大學。那時候也是我買第一輛車的時候。

在沒有支持的情況下把你的孩子扔出去是一種虐待。另一方面，我是因為家庭狀況變得非常奇怪，自己選擇離開的。我告訴我自己的兒子，他的家永遠都在。不幸的是，那所房子在印第安納州，他決定在舊金山自己建一所房子——他十六歲時就這樣做了（儘管得到了我相當大的幫助）。

Krister Sundelin

Hello, Xinyu !

Q: Is it true that most Western parents kick their kid out at the age of 18?

A: Most of the time, the kid moves out by themselves.

Q: How does the child survive?

A: Legally, they’re adult at age 18, so it’s no longer a child. Practically, they study at university or get a job.

你好，Xinyu !

問： 大多數西方父母在孩子18歲時就把孩子踢出去，這是真的嗎？

答： 大多數時候，孩子是自己搬出去的。

問： 這個孩子要怎麼活下來？

答： 從法律上講，他們在18歲時已經成年，所以不再是孩子了。實際上，他們在大學學習或去找一份工作。

Mats Andersson

No, it’s not true. At all. I have only heard of one single case among all the people I know, and that was because she asked her father to sober up; he was not exactly the best of fathers. (They mended their relation later.)

Lots of 18-year-olds want to move out, though, and it’s seen as an appropriate age to do that.

The thing is, of course, that they can’t really do that until they can support themselves. So it really means either a job, or university studies.

不，這不是真的。我認識的所有人中，我只聽到過一個案列，那是因為她要求父親醒酒，他並不是個好父親。他們後來修復了關係。

不過，很多18歲的年輕人都想搬出去，他們認為這是一個合適的年齡。

當然，問題是，在他們能夠養活自己之前，他們無法真正做到這一點。因此，這實際上意味着要麼去工作，要麼去大學學習。

Joan Vredik Broadley

I actually knew two young people who were both kicked out by a step-parent. One was my brother’s 16-year-old girlfriend (don’t panic, he was the same age) who went to our local welfare office and got help to rent an apartment and stay in high school. The other was my son’s friend who was kicked out at age 18 but managed to go on to trade school with the help of a provincial bursary program. Luckily we live in a Canadian province that provides some support for struggling young people to continue their education.

事實上，我認識兩個年輕人，他們都被繼父母踢了出去。其中一個是我哥哥16歲的女朋友（別慌，我哥哥當時和她同齡），她去了我們當地的福利辦公室，得到了幫助，租了一套公寓，繼續上高中。另一個是我兒子的朋友，他在18歲時被開除，但在省級助學金項目的幫助下，他成功地進入了貿易學校。幸運的是，我們生活在加拿大的一個省，該省為苦苦掙扎的年輕人繼續接受教育提供了一些支持。

Glyndŵr Davies

None of my five children have been asked to leave, kicked out or expected to leave, they all did so in their own time but all between 19 and 22.

All rented places initially and some of them came back while between rentals and between a rental and buying their first homes.

And they have bought their own homes, not relied on a spouse to help with the economy, other than my second daughter, married at 19 to a man who already owned his own. She is the only married one. Her elder sister and one of her brothers are divorced,

youngest son and daughter never married but bought their own homes anyway.

None of them are highly paid except eldest son. Just normal wage earners.

我的五個孩子，沒有一個被要求離開、踢出或被期望離開，他們都是在自己選擇的時間離開的，都是在19歲到22歲之間。

最開始，他們都是租房住，其中有人在租房、買房之間來回。

最後，他們買了自己的房子，他們不依賴配偶提供經濟幫助，除了我的第二個女兒。我的二女兒在19歲的時候嫁給了一個有房的男人。她是唯一一個已婚的人。她的姐姐和她的一個兄弟離婚了。最小的兒子和女兒從未結婚，但還是買了自己的房子。

除了長子之外，他們都沒有高薪，只是普通工薪階層。

Andrei Ma

No more true than that other belief commonly held by Asians: that westerners also “kick out” their elderly parents into nursing homes. I think they just don’t get the concept of “personal autonomy” as it is practised in the so-called Western world. For the most part, adults *choose* not to live with their parents, no one’s kicking anyone out and people decide for themselves where they want to live! Until they lose capacity, at which point a decision is usually made “in their best interests”. I’ve banged my head against a brick wall many times trying to explain this concept to my Asian relatives living in Asia… But no, they just don’t “get it” (cue sociological arguments about communal vs individualistic societies that go way over my head lol)

亞洲人還普遍持有的另一種信念是：西方人會把年邁的父母“踢”進養老院。我認為他們只是沒有理解西方世界的“個人自主”概念。在大多數情況下，成年人*選擇*不與父母住在一起，沒有人會把任何人踢出去，人們自己決定他們要住在哪裏！在他們失去能力之前，通常會“為了他們的最大利益”做出決定。我曾經多次絞盡腦汁，試圖和亞洲的親戚們解釋這個概念……但，他們不能“明白”。（提示：關於社區與個人主義社會的社會學爭論，我難以理解，哈哈）